Certified Domestic Hydrobiology Inspector (Satire)

The following is a satire I contrived following an On-line testimonial that linked these WACKY goof-ball websites. In reality, I think what I wrote is MORE credible than the weird stuff they try to convince. My intent is to show just how typically easy it is to come up with CRAP and make it sound legit in order to make a buck.
www.rfsafe.com
http://www.createhealthyhomes.com/articles_ew_9_05.php
http://www.tcwellness.com/>Essential
http://www.ehcd.com/>Environmental
www.latitudes.org/articles/electrical_sensitivity_articles.html

(P.S., I created another satirical testimonial advocating the benefits of Embossed Elephant Vitamins over standard run-o-the-mill vitamins - complete with a real link to a company that actually sells vitamins in the shape of elephants. I did not blog-post it, however.)

I attended one of the most outstanding seminars the other day. You've probably heard about radon and other toxins that can permeate our modern households, and maybe haven't thought much about it. Well, this speaker is on a quest to get all Americans to wake up and smell the coffee! The health dangers of modern indoor plumbing are real. Water, in anything less than it's purest form, has been the harbinger of disease throughout history: from malaria, typhus, and e-coli, down to the sewer rats infected with bubonic plague - but that is just the start. Molds, yeasts and fungus can run rampant in modern households. Not in my house, you say? Let me tell you, I have two very good friends who are chronic sufferers because of water-borne toxins in their homes.

Itching eyes, dry skin, athlete's foot, eczema, allergies, fatigue, memory lapses.... any of these sound familiar? This speaker presented his personal research of how a Certified Domestic Hydrobiology Inspector was able to help rid him of the toxins brought into his home by modern plumbing.

He outlined some basic steps all of us can benefit from on the road to a toxin free home. First. Have a Certified Domestic Hydrobiologist come and inspect your home. Second. Be willing to make some needed lifestyle changes. Remember, nothing worth improving is easy. In some cases, custom-made chamber pots and exterior latrine kits can be used following needed modifications to domestic plumbing. Third, get educated. There are several books and research on the dangers of domestic plumbing. Get on a maintenance program. The weekly mailers have tips and breaking research on improving the home environment. Do it for yourself, do it for your family.

N-,
Certified Domestic Hydrobiology Inspector

Blood Type is Everything in Japan

Concerning the Japanese placing so much importance and belief on blood type determining one's personality and potential, I'd be willing to bet more Buraku have O blood type than say the Samurai class. I wonder if that kind of information is available anywhere. Based on this information: http://anthro.palomar.edu/vary/vary_3.htm, I bet my assumption is correct in that the gaijin (non-Japanese) blood that defined much of who was labeled Buraku has a higher chance of being type O. But isn't it funny how seemingly correlative convictions can contridict and create hippocrits of the believers and their science?

N-
Type O Savant